Think You Have To “Do it all” as the Feeding Parent? 11 Ways Your Partner Can Support You

As the primary feeding parent, it can sometimes feel like you’re the one who has to do it all. You might need support, but not know exactly what to ask for from your partner or loved ones.

Feeding the baby, whether chestfeeding, breastfeeding, pumping, or bottle feeding, is just one part of the postpartum journey. There are so many ways for partners and loved ones to nurture, support, and lighten the load for the birthing parent that don’t involve feeding at all.

Here are some meaningful, practical, and heart-centered ways your partner can help, and how to ask for it:

1. They can provide comfort, nourishment, and hydration by…

• Keeping your waterbottle filled and nearby—hydration supports healing and milk production.

• Offering snacks and meals that can be eaten one-handed or reheated easily.

• Helping you get cozy. Ask them to adjust pillows, bring a blanket, or create a calm, restful space.

2. They can create a calm feeding or pumping station

• Ask them to set up a comfortable “feeding zone” with everything within arm’s reach—burp cloths, snacks, water, phone charger, tissues, and extra pillows, and keep it stocked and tidy.

• Them anticipating these needs helps you feel supported and reduces stress for the entire family.

3. They can take on diaper duty

• Changing diapers is a wonderful way to bond with baby.

• Take a rest while your partner changes the baby between feedings.

4. They can help with burping and soothing

• After feeds, hand the baby over to your partner for burping or comforting.

• They can walk, rock, hum, or gently bounce—these soothing moments not only build their confidence but also give your arms a rest.

5. They can try babywearing

• Wearing the baby keeps them close, calm, and connected while keeping hands free.

• Many babies love being worn by their non-birthing parent—it helps with bonding and gives the birthing parent time to shower, eat, or just breathe.

6. They can take over bath time

• Bath time can be a fun, bonding ritual for the non-birthing parent and baby.

• It’s a chance for them to engage and play while you get a few quiet moments.

7. They can handle night shifts & offer alone time

• Take a few extra moments to sleep or rest and allow your partner to change diapers or soothe baby between feeds.

• Speak up without guilt that you need and deserve alone time—a nap, a shower, or even a quiet walk.

8. They can do household tasks and parent other children

• Every day tasks like laundry, dishes, meals, or homework can pile up quickly. Having a partner who manages household routines and caring for older children allows you - the birthing parent - to focus on recovery and bonding with the new baby.

9. They can run errands & handle the pets

• Pick up groceries, prescriptions, or pet supplies.

• Keep pets fed, walked, and loved.

• This reduces stress for everyone and helps maintain a sense of normalcy at home.

10. They can manage visitors

• Outsource the roll of the gatekeeper to your partner.

• Communicate to them how you feel about visitors and protect that boundary. Sometimes, the best support is someone else being the one to say, “Not today, thanks.”

11. They can be the cheerleader

• Perhaps the most powerful support someone can offer you is emotional. You don’t always have to be strong. Sharing when you are not feeling your greatest or need help gives them the opportunity to help you.

• Share what’s important to you and celebrate every small win together—whether it’s a successful latch, a nap, or just making it through the day.

Final Thoughts

Being a supportive partner doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly—it means showing up with empathy, patience, and presence. When your partner steps in with care, even if it is not EXACTLY the say you would do it, they help create a nurturing environment for both the entire family to thrive.

You’re a team. Every gesture—no matter how small—matters.